So Proud of My Love

I had my 6 week post-partum check-up yesterday ... but details on that in a moment.

The first thing Dr. Gina did when she came into the room was address Jaimie about the note he left for the nurses during our hospital stay with Jaiden. A little while after leaving me a special note, Jaimie went back out and wrote "Thank You Nurses" in the snow. They apparently got such a big kick out of it that they took a picture of it and now have copies of it hanging up on the Labor and Delivery floor. Dr. Gina was impressed by Jaimie's creativity and skill of snow writing ... she said she'd never seen anything like that before and loved its originality. I can't tell you how proud this made me!! *MY* Jaimie did that! Just one simple act from him made so many people happy! =D Do you see why I freakin' love this man?! =D

LOL ... I'm still gushing about it. I totally want to take a trip over to the hospital and visit the L&D floor to check out the picture! I never got to see his note to them, but he told me all about it. That, and when I go to visit, I can bring Jaiden and *totally* show him off!! =D They were all such great nurses and I would love for them to see the child they helped me care for in those first couple days.

As for my 6 week check-up, everything is cleared for normal activities! =D Dr. Gina said things looked great ... so Jaimie and I are excited to get back to normal. We did tell Dr. Gina that we 'cheated' on V-day ... but she said as long as I was feeling okay, she wasn't worried about it. =D She was surprised I even let him in the room near me! lol Thankfully, my desires and passion for Jaimie have not changed ... we just need to work on timing things when Jaiden's taking a looooong nap. =D

I also got a prescription for the 'mini-pill'. I had asked Dr. Gina about getting on a birth control that wouldn't affect my breastfeeding because I read that the estrogen in most birth controls can decrease your supply. And since my supply seems very small already, I didn't want to mess it up! =D The mini-pill is just the hormone progesterone, and because of that I have to be even more diligent about taking it at the *same time* every day ... or else the chance for effectiveness drops from the 90th percentile to the 70th ...or something like that. Jaimie was funny tho ... when the nurse asked if we were ready for another, he said, "Well, babies are like bombs ... you gotta drop 'em in clusters." Meaning just have a whole bunch around the same time. >.> So I don't think he's worried about having another one so soon, but I at least want to wait till the end of the year and let my brain forget some of the newborn stuff, like waking up every couple hours in the middle of the night!! =D

Anyway, I'm going to go finish feeding J, then upload the pictures and video I took over the past couple days. I *finally* got my picture of Jaiden and Dr. Gina! Yay!! So I'll post that over on J's blog, as well as some bathtime pictures! =D He's just too stinkin' cute and I can't stop taking pictures!!!!!

My Other Baby

Poor Luna has been so good for us since we brought Jaiden home. I hope she's not feeling neglected ... and I do try to snuggle her and 'include' her as much as possible. I haven't taken nearly as many pictures of my first 'baby' as I used to, so here's a super cute video I took of her when we got a lot of snow on Friday.



I totally love this dog! lol She's such a ham. =D

Truth or Dare Tuesdays

So I've decided that when I do 'T&D', it will be on Tuesdays. Similarly, my blogger and BBC buddy Monty has 'Wordless Wednesdays', which I may do as well. Who better to copy than a great woman like Monty?! So here's 'T&D' for this week.

Truth: I miss being pregnant.

It was definitely a whole lot easier taking care of Ohz when he was inside me! I love having him here with me, but I miss feeling his kicks and hiccups from the inside. Not to mention, the volume level decreases significantly when he was in my tummy!! lol I find myself dreaming of being pregnant again ... having the cute belly, an excuse for excessive eating, and people catering to my every need (although Jaimie does that regardless of me being preggo or not). Although, all it takes is one crying fit from Ohz, and I'm ready to wait 10 years before getting pregnant again!

Dare: Enjoy the time I have one-on-one with Jaiden.

And remember that I will get to do the pregnancy thing again. I still want my Jiana! =D

One Month

That's how long I've been a Mommy. On one hand, it feels like he was only born yesterday ... but on the other, it feels like I've been at this f-o-r-e-v-e-r ...but that's the exhaustion talking! LOL

Ohz and I have started to find a schedule tho. He's very alert now during the day after he's eaten and usually takes catnaps during this time. He starts to get a little extra fussy around 5 or 6 pm, then takes a long nap of about 4 or 5 hours by 8 or 9 pm.

Jaimie and I finally got a genuine smile out of him late last week. It takes a bit of coaxing -- what I call the 'squidgy' voice (that high pitched, silly baby voice parents do) plus some funny facial expressions. He's got the cutest, freakin' smile ever ... but we're super biased! I'm hoping to get a picture or video of it soon. =D

I'll be taking some one month pictures later today, so keep an eye out on J's blog for updates! Seriously ... you can't pass up the CBE (cutest baby ever!). =D

Truth or Dare

In the wee hours of the morning, while trying to fall back asleep but worrying that the baby would wake up again at any second, I came up with this idea for a post. It's a few 'truths' I've come to learn about being a new mom and having an infant to care for ... as well as some 'dares' or goals for myself.

Truth: I love my son more than words could ever say.

I thought I'd start out with this one, because I know I'll probably get a little flack for some of my other truths. So I want everyone to know right now ... I LOVE MY SON! I appreciate every moment I have with him, and though I didn't go through nearly as much pain and suffering as some have to bring a child into this world, there is not a moment that I am not thankful to be a mother.

Dare: Love him, and myself, thru our rough spots.

You'll get an idea of our 'rough spots' from my other truths!

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Truth: I nearly gave up on breastfeeding.

Let's get this one straight ... breastfeeding is no walk in the park. My second week of doing it, my nipples HURT like a mo-fo. Whenever he'd latch on, the pain was so intense my toes would curl, I'd gasp for breath, and have to breath thru like it was a contraction. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't want to switch him to formula ... so I was pumping like crazy so he could still have my awesome breastmilk. But I completely did not want him on my boob!

Also, the time it would take to breastfeed, combined with his lazy attitude about eating, made me feel very secluded from the rest of the family. For 30 to 40 minutes I am locked in the bedroom ... only to finish and find he'd wake up and be hungry because he never really ate right.

Dare: Learn to be a better breastfeeder.

This includes being patient while he's suckling away ... finding ways of keeping him awake so he gets full and content ... and learning to breastfeed in 'public', i.e. at my desk, in the living room, etc. so I can still be around the rest of the family but not have my boobies hanging out all over the place. Having him close, knowing that I'm providing him with the best food possible, and spending that special time with him is what needs to really motivate me to continue as long as I can.

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Truth: The rewards are few.

Yes, having him in my life is reward enough ... but I've discovered that apart from sleeping, crying, eating, and pooping, there's not much else Jaiden does. The rewards of having him look into my eyes and smile, mimic my facial expressions, or write a concerto have not yet shown themselves. I know they will come, but it's pretty hard in the meantime while we wait for them. In my moments of 'weakness', one little smile from him would definitely melt my heart and make me forget everything.

Dare: Remind myself of what's to come.

When I am upset, frustrated, and/or angry, I just have to remember that he will keep growing and reaching his milestones in time. Again, I just need to be patient and remember that our little miracle will get there when he's ready. And that first REAL smile will be even more special!

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Truth: I second guess myself constantly.

Did I do my son an injustice by giving him a pacifier too early? Is he crying at the top of his lungs because I've fed him too much and his tummy hurts? Will he be able to breastfeed right if I give him too many bottles? Am I depleting my milk supply by pumping all the time and not letting him breastfeed? Oh my god ... the questions are endless.

Dare: Remind myself I am doing the best job I can.

For someone who hasn't had much on the job Mom training, I have to remember that I am doing the best I can in the moment. If it works at the time, then I must be doing something right ... right??

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Truth: Babies have 'snuggle' radar.

It never fails ... I finish feeding Jaiden, put him in his bassinet, then Jaimie and I curl up next to each other in bed and snuggle ... and Jaiden cries. No shit ... it happens every time. It's like he knows there's snugglin' time going on and he wants in on it.

Dare: Find ways to have moments alone with Jaimie.

I cannot deny how much I miss that special alone time Jaimie and I had. But I knew that having a baby would change everything ... I just have to make it a 'mission' to continue showing and telling Jaimie how much he means to me and finding those moments when we can have time to ourselves.

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Truth: I'm very cranky on only two hours of sleep.

After feeding a fussy baby for 45 minutes only to be woken up two hours later because he's hungry again is not conducive for a happy Mommy. The night-time is hard ... because I'm tired ...and when I'm tired, I get cranky. And that leads to being less loving. I'm sorry, but it's true. Now, don't misunderstand ... being less loving does not mean I would cause pain ... it just means I'm less attached in that moment of frustration and exhaustion. I would much rather be curled up next to Jaimie fast asleep, than trying to lull a crying baby while keeping my eyes open.

Dare: Get better at sleeping when the baby is sleeping.

I confess ... I hate not spending time with Jaimie, so sometimes I push myself to stay up with him instead of taking a cat-nap on the couch while the baby's asleep. It's hard to explain ... but when I'm not with Jaimie, something just doesn't feel 'right' ... even when we're in the house together but in separate rooms. And since Jaiden's come along ... I find myself being separated more and more from Jaimie. I just have to remember that this won't last forever ... and Jaimie and I will eventually get our 'schedules' back in order.

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Mm-kay ... I'm a little 'truth'-ed out for the moment. But I think I will start a weekly 'Truth or Dare' post ... that sounds like a good dare to me. =D

My New Friend

It's only been a week and four days since I gave birth to Jaiden and started breastfeeding him, but, Oh My God, I'm really sore! ^.^;; I know it's because they're not used to this kind of treatment, but, as of today, they get a bit of a break. I got my breast pump! Woot!

The lactation consultant, Megan, who visited with me in the hospital, gave me a prescription for a hospital grade pump that I get to rent for a year. If I use it that long, great! If not, I can return it when Jaiden and I are ready to stop breastfeeding. But I can already see it's going to get a lot of use and it will definitely come in handy! I've already used it twice and (although it's a very strange thing to see) I love using it! My boobies are very thankful.

One of the best benefits of me pumping is this:

Jaimie finally got to feed his son! Yay!! It will definitely help when it comes to those middle of the night feedings. That is where I have a lot of trouble (not wanting to wake up at 3 am and all), aside from the soreness. I just need to get up a good surplus of milk!

By pumping, I've realized a reason why Jaiden can sometimes get cranky after he's fed for nearly 30 minutes. I haven't been able to get an entire ounce out of my right side ... but my left gets nearly three ounces. So Jaiden might not be fulfilled if he's not getting that much from one side. The breast pump has helped me see this! =D

Oh, and in some weird moment of feeling a great amount of accomplishment, I took a picture of the bottle of expressed milk. Boobie team, GO!

So This is Love

I (finally) changed my music player ... sorry to those of you still listening to my Christmas music half-way thru January! LOL

For those of you who have known me for a long time, you know of my past experiences with 'love'. You also know about Jaimie and myself ... and, again, for any of you left doubting the intensity of our love and the sheer happiness I feel when I am with him, take a gander at this:


On our second day in the hospital, Jaimie came back upstairs from a smoke-break and led me to the window in our room. Outside, in the snow, was this wonderful message from the most amazing man I have ever known. He stood out there in the freezing cold, shuffling his feet in the snow, just to tell me he loved me.

Jealous? lol If I were still where I was 2 years ago, my answer would be yes. Certain parties never would have done something like this for me.

I love my life with Jaimie, that's for damn sure.

The Journey Begins...

...well, truthfully it started Friday when Jaiden was born!! LOL But I've been so busy with him and the rest of the family that I'm just finally getting a chance to post now!

It is so hard to put into words how amazing his entrance into the world was. I still look at him and think, "This is *my* baby ...that *I* pushed out. No one's coming to pick him up at the end of the day ... he's MINE! OMG ... *I* am his mother." =D Totally surreal!

I won't lie and say the whole thing has been easy. A lot of the times he cries, I cry. I know it's hormones and whatnot, but that part of it stinks. If I didn't have Jaimie here helping me (and OMG, he is the greatest Daddy ever!!), I think I would have freaked out or screamed or something.

Jaiden also finally took his longest nap ever last night (aside from his "baby comas" in the hospital after he was born and after he got his peepee snipped). He slept for 7 hours straight ... between 9 pm and 4 am! Now if we can shift that a little ... to something like 11 to 6, it'd be perfect!! LOL I got a nice long nap in too while Jaimie kept an eye on him during his super nap. And when Jaiden woke up ... he had a nice big surprise for us ... a SUPER POOP! lol He'd been storing it, I think ... 'cause it was an explosion. =D

Right now, the little man is sleeping soundly in my lap while I catch up on blogs and forums and emails. He just got done having breakfast, so he's out for the count for a couple hours, at least. Hopefully that'll be enough time to get stuff done!!

I'll be posting the birth story right after I get done with this post. I will post-date it for the 9th, when Jaiden was born. So look for it after this one!! =D

And lastly, I shall leave you with a picture of the cutest baby EVER!! =D My little Jai-bird!