Belated Zoo Pictures

Mid-June, Jaimie, Miah, and I went to the zoo with Jaimie's nephew, John, and his little girl, Jessalynn. I hadn't been to our zoo in over a year and had been dying to go back. There were so many things I hadn't gotten to see on my first trip, and they also added a new butterfly exhibit. So we decided to go back and show Jessalynn our wonderful zoo! Here's a few of my favorite pictures from our wonderful afternoon!!

Jaimie and I in front of a waterfall

Jessalynn and I with Mr. Octopus!

Penguins in Love!New picture of our hands on the water wall <3My, what big teeth you have!Instead of a car, we got him a rhino ...we figured it's just as dangerous! =D And, hey, it's got a 60% speed increase!So many pretty butterflies in the new butterfly exhibit ...but this one was most definitely the prettiest!!

Hooray!

I haven't posted in eons ...so what will this post be about?!?!?

My Vacuum!!!

Yes, that's right ...I am very excited to announce that I dug all the nasty clumps of dog hair out of my vacuum and got it working properly again!! =D And just in time too ...I had a few potential clients over yesterday and my carpet actually looked rather fantastic!! And, omg, the stairs to the basement are amazing!! I am soooooo thankful that I kept plugging away at that darn vacuum! The state of the carpet has been my biggest concern with clients coming over ...all I could think was, "They're not gonna want their kids playing on a dog hair infested carpet. Gross!"

So, we have success! And I'm super stoked about it!!

A Monster in the Basement

Even though my discovery of the monster in my basement occurred last week, I am still haunted by the memory every time I go back down there. As I did laundry today and kept looking around like I was about to be attacked, I decided to share my story ... hopefully you will never have a run-in of your own!

So last week ...Wednesday night, I believe... I went down to the basement to put Jaimie's work clothes in the dryer. As I entered the room connected to the laundry room, I saw something on the wall. In all my twenty-seven years, I can say I had never seen anything like this creature before. It looked like some sort of mutant spider that was nearly two inches long ...with tons of spider-like legs and two sets of antennae on both ends. All I could think was, "What in the hell is *that*?!?!"

I quickly went into the laundry room and put the clothes in the dryer ...and when I finished, I went back into the room with the monster. It was still there on the wall ...not moving ...not twitching its freakish legs. I searched the room for something I could flatten it with! ...Finally, I decided on a large box of stickers. I grabbed it and *WHACK* ...dropped the box after it hit the monster and kinda jumped back to be safe. I didn't know what I was dealing with here!!

So I got up the courage to move my rolling cabinet out of the way and pick up the box. The monster was laying on the ground, still alive, but not trying to scurry away. Just to be sure it wouldn't be coming upstairs, I smashed him a few more times... That was one dead monster.

After telling Jaimie of the episode in the basement, he told me it was probably a centipede. Now, when I picture centipedes, that creature is not what comes to mind. The next day I showed Jaimie and he again gathered it was a centipede. Well, my curiosity was still not abated so I did some online research to find out what exactly the monster in my basement was.

Well, Jaimie was indeed right ...what we had was a 'house centipede.' According to a bug-loving website, they are helpful in that they eat insects, spiders, and roaches in your house. Of course, I remember centipedes being the poisonous ones (between them and millipedes, that is) ...and this site did confirm that they do carry a venom. Supposedly, their jaws are too weak to penetrate human skin, but it does happen, and their venom usually just causes an irritation or feel like a bee sting (tho in some cases, if a person is allergic, the reaction can be more severe, just like with bees and wasps).

Either way, I'm glad my "save the bugs" instinct did not kick in for this one. I'm sure once you see the picture, you too will agree that this monster should not be left alive in your house!! I couldn't imagine waking up to it on me or even on the wall. Blech!! So ...beware of monsters in your homes!! Squish 'em quick!!

In Bloom

So spring has finally started to show itself here in Papillion. The weather has been absolutely beautiful the past week and all the trees have been getting their leaves back and all the flowers are starting to bloom.

I decided to go out today and take some pictures. I didn't realize how many flowering trees/bushes we have in and around our yard!! When I got here in July, most of the flowers were already long gone. Also, the smell in our backyard is amazing (an allergist's nightmare! lol) ...all the flowers create the most beautiful aroma!

Here are some of the pix I took (don't mind the blurriness ...my camera sucks at close-ups):

The lilac bush near our deck ...I can't wait till all the flowers bloom!!
A couple of the flowering trees in our neighbor's yards (far away, then close-up, then the white flowering tree)
Then, as I walked over to Marklar (Pam's dog who we've been pet-sitting while she went on vacation) to take his picture, I got a big surprise!! Right next to our rose bush (which hasn't bloomed yet, and I can't wait for it!!) were these beauties:
I have no idea what kind of flower they are ...they almost look like tulips ...but wow! They are so pretty!! I want to snip them and make a flower arrangement! lol ^.^ But there's only about 6 or 7 of them total, so my pictures of them will have to suffice. If anyone can help me identify my new favorite flower, I'd appreciate it!!

Ahhh ...I look forward to more of spring's surprises. =D Who knows what else could be growing?

Rock Band Drums ... Easy Mode

So after months of owning the game Rock Band for Xbox 360, I finally decided to take a 'stab' at playing the drums.

When we first got the game for Miah for Christmas, we made our little band. I was the singer, Jaimie played the drums, and Miah rocked on the guitar, as usual. Well, since then, he's been completely powering thru the drumming in the game and he gets a decent work out from it. Granted, he plays on Expert, just like he does with the guitar ...so yeah... =D

Well, I decided last night to give it a go. So this morning I sat down on the couch, pulled the drum set towards me, and proceeded to make my little drummer chick. I named her Edyth (my middle name with a Y instead of an I) and gave her light blue long hair. lol I then proceeded to start off drumming on easy ...just to get used to it. I made it thru 10 out of the 43 songs on easy mode, and I got four stars on all the songs. I was quite proud of myself. =D I'm more coordinated than I thought.

I tried again a little while ago and ended up with five stars on each of the first five songs. Then I got to "Gimme Shelter" and fubar'd that one up. ^.^ But I still did better than the first time I played thru. So Easy Mode drums is my newest thing. I'm hoping to eventually make it to at least Hard. =D I told Jaimie that maybe one day I'll be as awesome on drums as he is. He said he's been drumming for 30+ years ...so ...maybe when I'm in my 50s I'll be a total rock star drummer. =D lol

We'll see...

Jessa's Sunshine Corner

Well, it's official. I've started an in-home child care!! =D I have an ad running in a free publication called the Thrifty Nickel, as well as a few online classifieds. Surprisingly, I received an email today from a woman named Daisy inquiring about my day care!! She won't need my services till late April or so, but I can't believe I had someone ask about it!! Yay!!

The same day I put in my ad, I made a website for my business! I figured I could put the address in the ad and save on word space so I didn't have to pay a lot per word!! The website has a lot more information about the day care, so I think it was a great idea. I also think it looks really awesome ...almost like I'm a professional! lol

I finally broke down and decided to call it "Jessa's Sunshine Corner." I've been calling it Sunshine In-Home Child Care for the longest time, but whenever Jaimie talks about it he's used Jessa's Sunshine Corner. The former sounds a lot more 'professional' to me and I thought it would interest people. But apparently Jaimie may have been right. He felt that it might make people think it was a bigger day care and not just a small, two or three children in home day care.

Either way, I hope to get more emails and/or calls over the next week or so. My ad runs for two weeks in the Thrifty Nickel, and the online ones might stay there till I remove them. I can't wait to get at least one child and start building my day care into what I dream it will be!! Not to mention I'll finally be makin' some money!! lol =D

The Surgery ... Before and After

Monday night was by far the most pain I've ever been in. It felt like my worst period by far. No medicine I took helped ... I would finally get comfortable enough that it didn't hurt, but then the pain would find me again. Using the wonderful 'hospital pain chart,' I would have placed myself at an eight or nine. At about 1 o'clock in the morning, I passed a lot of blood and tissue. If I had planned a natural miscarriage, I would have said that was it. But since I had already scheduled the D&C for Wednesday, I decided to go thru with it anyway. Jaimie and I talked about having it done just to make sure everything was out and there would be nothing that could cause harm to me or the next baby we would try to conceive.

Tuesday I went back to the doctor to get a laminaria or two placed in my cervix to help dilate it so it wouldn't have to be forced open during the D&C. The placement was a little uncomfortable because my cervix tilts off to the left, but once they were in, I felt fine. There was a lot less bleeding from that point on as well.

Yesterday morning I was scheduled for a D&C, which is the removal of tissue in the uterus after miscarriage. Jaimie and I were up at 5:00 am and got to the hospital at 5:30. They set me up in a little room and started to get me ready for the surgery at 7:00. My nurse, Leona, was very nice and made me feel as comfortable as I could in spite of the circumstances. Jaimie stayed by my side the whole time until they had to take me to the OR.

They gave me some mighty fine drugs, because I was out in just a few minutes once they got me to the OR. They placed an oxygen mask on me and just told me to take deep breaths. Next thing I knew I was in recovery and the nurse was talking next to me. I laid there for a while very sleepy, but finally started to really wake up. My doctor, Dr. Stearnes, came in and did a quick ultrasound and said everything went great. The nurse asked me if I was in pain ...I was having a little discomfort in my abdomen, so they gave me a shot in my IV.

After a few minutes they wheeled me to the secondary recovery room and had me sit up in a chair. They had Jaimie come back in and he looked so relieved. I felt so bad that my poor baby had to sit out in the waiting room for nearly two hours. The nurse brought me the most delicious apple cinnamon muffin ever! and some apple juice and while I ate they monitored my vitals and finished up some paperwork. I had really expected to be pretty out of it still ...but everyone was surprised at how awake and mobile I was. Finally I was allowed to get dressed and Jaimie went to pull the car around.

Just after Jaimie walked out of the room, the nurse came back in carrying a small quilt and a card. She explained that it was something the hospital did to help honor the memory of the baby we lost. It was so incredibly sweet ...and I started to cry. Jaimie walked back in the room and I told him about the blanket. He hugged me and comforted me ...he is truly such a wonderful man!! I don't know what I would have done without him. The tag on the quilt says "Budded on earth ... to bloom in heaven."

Since I have been home, I have been feeling fantastic physically. Dr. Stearnes prescribed Percoset and Motrin for pain, as well as an antibiotic. Right before I left the hospital, they gave me a Percoset, and I've only taken two of my own since then. I expected to be sleeping most of the day yesterday, but only ended up taking a nap for about an hour. Based on that fabulous pain chart, I'd say the worst my pain has been is about a two. It's mostly just "gassy" discomfort ...and actually, my throat was hurting more than anything else because they had put a breathing tube in during the surgery. Since the surgery, the bleeding has slowed to nearly a stop, which I am very grateful for. I go back on Feb. 5th to see Dr. Stearnes again for a follow-up.

Jaimie waited on me hand and foot all day. Even tho I was feeling so great, he still made sure to help me if I needed to go to the bathroom and he made me lunch and dinner. <3 I have discovered a new favorite thing to drink: Sunny D. For those of you who've known me all or most of my life will be like "NO WAY!" Yes way! =D So far it's the closest thing to orange juice I've ever drank and liked. =D Who knows ...maybe orange juice will be next!! lol

Thank you all so much for your love and support during this emotionally difficult time. Without it, I don't know what I'd do!! I love you all!!!!!

In the Arms of the Angels

This past week has definitely been the longest, most emotional week of my life. It all started last Monday when I noticed some brownish spotting on the toilet paper. Of course, my first reaction was to freak out, but I told myself to stay calm and monitor it. Brown blood indicates "old blood" and I wasn't cramping or anything. By late Monday afternoon, it had stopped. But, on Thursday it started again ...but again I monitored it. I thought that perhaps because Jaimie and I had had sex the nights before the bleeding it was just caused by rubbing or something.

Friday morning, however, I really started to worry ...when I wiped there were small bits of tissue mixed with the blood. It was almost as if I was starting my period. So Jaimie finished up the job he was on and came home and took me to the ER. From there, things just snowballed. The nurse couldn't find the heartbeat with a Doppler (which, of course, she tried to reassure me could mean the baby was a mover), I was poked and prodded everywhere, and the ultrasound tech was as quiet as a grave. It was this last one that made it start to sink in for us. If everything was ok, the tech would have showed us a heartbeat and the baby right off the bat. But she went along to take nearly 50 pictures without saying a word. And when Jaimie asked her questions, she deftly avoided them by saying "Because of liability, I can't tell you anything because the radiologist needs to see the pictures."

Finally, after more waiting, the physician's assistant returned and told us that I had a miscarriage. For being 12 weeks along, my hormone levels should have been in the 60,000+ range, but were only at 3,000. The fetus was also only measuring 8 weeks. So, not only do I find out we lost our baby, but we find out this happened a month ago. And of course, a ton of horrid thought pass thru my mind: if the people at the first ultrasound had been actual doctors and nurses, we would have known this a month ago; and when we told friends and family, our baby had stopped growing.

It has been the most devastating moment of my life thus far. Jaimie and I just held each other and cried.

We spent the weekend trying to recuperate emotionally and physically (for me, anyway). I was amazed at how not even an hour after we found out, my body kicked into gear and I started cramping and bleeding more. It was like it finally had the confirmation it had been waiting for. For a month, my mind has thought I was pregnant and kinda kept it going. The same pants I wore yesterday did not fit me last Monday, but were only slightly tight yesterday. It makes me understand how hypochondriacs can make themselves so sick. If they believe something so much, their mind can trick their body into being sick. Well, mine tricked me for a whole month before signs showed otherwise.

Everything reminds me of what we've lost ...TV is definitely not something to watch after you've had a loss like this. It's bad enough the things your own mind comes up with, but seeing commercials and shows with babies just hurts more than I ever thought it would. The morning before I went to the hospital, I had won an auction for a maternity outfit that I now won't need ... I have books from the library and newsletters in my email inbox ... and I just bought a bottle of cocoa butter lotion to help with stretch marks. Now I feel so lost ... and every time I think about or see these things, I feel so sad and angry.

One in five women have a miscarriage, and despite that that was my biggest fear after I found out I was pregnant, I never thought it would happen to me. Jaimie and I just keep reminding ourselves that it was nothing we did ...he keeps telling me how proud he was of me for taking care of myself so well. But I can't help it when those little evil thoughts like, "Maybe my bath water was too hot," "Did I drink one too many cans of soda?" "Did we jostle the baby around when we were having sex?" pop into my head! It's so hard not to blame yourself, but I am lucky enough to have the love and support of Jaimie and all my friends and family to remind me that there is nothing we should have done differently.

Yesterday I had an appointment at an OB to talk about getting a D&C done. I go in tonight to get something placed in my cervix to help dilate it, then at an ungodly hour on Wednesday morning Jaimie and I will head to the hospital for the procedure. As much as I'm not looking forward to this, I know it's for the best. When Jaimie and I decide to try again we won't have to worry about anything that was "left behind" that could harm the next baby. And as scared as I am of this happening again, I do wish we weren't going to wait so long to try again. But Jaimie wants to "do things in order" this time. 'Screw order!' I say. =D But next time, I'll be on his insurance and he says we'll go to the doctor every day to check on the baby.

So that is where things stand at this point. Like many healthy young women, I never thought I would ever have to experience a miscarriage. It's awful how many doubts it can put in an already worried woman's mind ...but now I understand so much better the pain, grief, and loss so many women face every day when they lose their unborn child. It is nothing I would wish on anyone else.