Thursday, March 19, 2009

ToD Thursday?!

Okay, so I know that this usually goes on Tuesdays ... but I had to make an exception today.

Truth: I am jealous of my step-son's best friend.

Just some quick background ... when I was four or five months pregnant, our son told us that his best friend found out she was pregnant. I was incensed at the time because 1. I found out she had smoked pot after finding out, and 2. she did not know who the father was because she slept with two different guys during a time when she'd had a falling out with her then-boyfriend. Pregnancy hormones probably increased my anger, but I eventually simmered down and was okay with it.

In the past week or so, she's come over a few times. I found myself horribly jealous that she was pregnant and I was not. I won't deny that I completely miss being pregnant. It was so wonderful, even with all the aches and pains and worries associated with it.

One thing I've found myself thinking is that she's got it a lot easier than most moms. I know this isn't completely true ... but when I think about how I have to not only take care of Jaiden, but the rest of my family, I know she won't have to do the same. She has her mom and dad to take care of her still while she learns to care for her daughter. She doesn't have to worry about the house getting messy and doing dishes and making dinner. But, on the other hand, she's had to deal with the stigma of being a teenage mother, and she'll have to figure out how to do that and finish her schooling. So, I give her a lot of credit for that.

This morning, Jaimie came in and told me that she had called saying she had her baby and Miah was going to be heading up to the hospital to visit. Again, I found myself feeling tinges of jealousy ... no one came to visit us in the hospital when Jaiden was born. Granted, I did enjoy just spending time with just Jaimie and our new little guy ... but it still would have been nice to know we had people busting our door down to see us at the hospital.

So, Miah came home and I quizzed him on his visit. And, yet again, I feel so jealous of his friend. She went into the hospital at midnight ... had 6 hours of labor and pushed her baby out in 10 minutes. Really?! Son of a ... I attribute some of the 'ease' of her labor to the fact she pushed out a 6 lb baby and Jaiden was over 9 lbs ... not to mention he had quite the pumpkinhead. *And* she went into labor before she was due ... I had to force Jaiden out. Ugh ... I hate feeling so jealous of other people ... it's such a nasty way to feel!! But, to my credit, yesterday ended on a pretty crappy note, so I've already been rather emotional.

Now ... my dare ...

Dare: Remember that every one is different and has different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. There is no step-by-step pattern. And, also, keep in mind that pregnancy will come again for me and I'll get to revel in all those aches and pains again.

1 comment:


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