My Best Friend's Wedding

No, not that movie with Julia Roberts!! I'm talking about my best friend Kellie's wedding! We have known each other since we were three years old and have grown up together. She got married to a wonderful guy, Randy Kwan, on August 8th in St. Augustine, FL. I really wanted to be there, but because of finances and worrying about the pregnancy, I couldn't make it. ; ; But Kellie understood, as much as she wanted me there too!

After nearly a month, I've finally gotten to see some pictures of her big day!! Another of my best friends, Corinna, is a photographer. And although that was not her job on that day (she chose to be a bridesmaid instead!), she still took some amazing pictures. The picture below is by far my favorite of all that I saw.

Cory has always been a wonderful photographer and I am always amazed by some of the shots she gets. She's taken quite a few for me and I'm hoping I can talk her into a few more! lol You can find her blog (and many other pictures she's taken) at http://corinnahoffman.blogspot.com or check out her photography site at http://www.corinnahoffman.com.

I'm still waiting anxiously for more pictures of Kellie's wedding. My mom wanted to send me the ones she took, but is having issues with her mouse ...and now possibly her monitor as well! One day I will get to see all the pictures, I swear!!

Becoming My Mother and Understanding My Teenage Years

I have began realizing more and more since I moved to Nebraska with Jaimie that I am slowly, but surely, becoming my mother. Some women may scream and throw a fit at this revelation, but I am very happy with the person I am turning out to be. My mother has always been a great inspiration to me and has loved me from the moment she learned she was pregnant with me, throughout all my bullshit as I grew and learned (and made lots of mistakes), to this very day. I am very thankful for joining my mother and her family on July 9th, 1981 ... there is no other mother I wish I could have.

So my revelations into me turning into my mother began slowly. I first noticed it when I *had* to have another garbage can just for recycle only, just like my mother has in her house. Other things I noticed are my intense feelings about Jaimie or Miah using the counter or table to make sandwiches and leaving crumbs and sandwich-making materials laying out and about. How many times I heard my mother wonder out-loud how hard it would be to lay down a paper towel! lol Also, a few months ago, I picked up the hobby of crocheting, using online videos to teach me how to get started. Both my mother and grandmother have been avid crocheters for quite some time. It must be in our genes or something.

The biggest revelation has come in the form of understanding how my mother felt during my teenage years ...and it has also given me great insight into why her and my father acted the way they did (i.e. that 'overprotectiveness' I always complained about to myself!). By moving to Nebraska with Jaimie, I not only gained a relationship with him, but with his son, Miah, as well. I became a step-mother to a teenager.

There are so many similarities I see between myself at Miah's age and Miah himself. He's smart, funny, talented ...but also very naive. His father and I try to explain things to him, but he's at that age where he thinks he knows everything ...when he truly doesn't. He knows for a fact he is in love with his girlfriend ...and no matter how many times we tell him that he's still in that 'learning' phase when it comes to relationships, he won't have it.

And, oh, the teenage drama we get to witness. There have been a few occasions (most recent one was yesterday), where he has come home late and given no notice to anyone. Jaimie was so worried we went out combing the neighborhoods after calling some of his friends. It made me realize that all those times my parents were angry and upset with me was not because they wanted to ruin my life, but because they were deathly afraid that something had happened to me. I understand now how wonderful a call can be. All those times they stressed to me to call them if I was going to be late or my plans had changed ... I understand now.

So for all the bullshit that my mom (and dad too!) had to put up with during my teenage years (and probably beyond that too lol!) ...I thank them immensely. They loved me enough to worry and care and reprimand when it was needed. They tried to get it across to me ...I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it. I guess until you are in your parents' shoes it all just seems like your parents were being over-dramatic about it all. I definitely didn't expect to be the mother of a teenager so soon ... but I'm glad I've gotten to because it's made me understand and love my parents even more for all they have done and still do for me to this day.

I love you, Mom and Dad! <3

Where are you, Feet?

Last week I was in Wal-mart with Miah and found a really cute maternity tank top that said "Can you tell me if my shoes match?" I jokingly looked down past my belly at my feet. There they were ... well, half of them anyway! I wiggled my toes and put the tank back (not because I didn't want it tho!! lol, just didn't have the $$ for that *and* my awesome new maternity bermuda shorts!).

Yesterday, on my regular Thursday library/Wal-mart outing, I again stopped by to check out the tank top (and nearly freaked that they were sold out! But I found one hiding!). This time I was wearing a flowing dress, so I pulled it back and again looked down at my feet. But ...where were they?! OMG! I lost them!! Distressed, but happy ...I resigned myself to the fact that I would not be seeing them for quite some time. Now I *really* do need that tank top.

So, in a week's time, Baby Ohz has grown so much that I've lost sight of my feetsies. Excuse me, but ...Do my shoes match? =D

I L-O-V-E 'Horror'scopes!

While visiting Babycenter, I clickied on their link to parent-child horoscope relationships. I have always found it odd how the description of my sign fits me so well. I have never tried to conform to it, but just seem to have developed this way on my own. I, myself, was born under the sign of Cancer, the crab. For the first 10 years of my life, I grew up with a Taurus (mom), Virgo (Gma), and Libra (Gpa) to guide me. Then my mom got married to my father, a Cancer ...and they had my brother, another Cancer. Our house was a bunch of crabs and a bull. lol =D Despite all the head-butting and stubbornness in our house, it has always been a very loving environment (Cancers tend to be very nurturing and homebodyish).

Now that I have my own family, it's nice to see the dynamics of a new set of signs under one roof. Jaimie is a Leo (my King! <3)

Compatibility between Jaimie and I goes like this:

"As a parenting team, you two share many fine qualities. You are both extremely loyal when it comes to your family. You are committed to your children over all else and find great joy in caring for them and watching them grow. You're sentimental, loving, and affectionate. This isn't to say that you bring identical gifts to the table, though. You do have your differences.

The Cancer parent can be shy and brooding, highly sensitive to emotions and perceived slights. You prefer a quiet night at home to having friends over. The opposite may be true for the Leo mom or dad, who likes to shine in front of as many people as possible. The Leo parent is more open and playful. There may be some dramatic moments in your home, but any tension will soon blow over like a summer storm, leaving everyone clean and refreshed."

As a parent to my little Capricorn-to-be:

"You and your Capricorn child have similar concerns when it comes to feeling safe and secure. You both naturally thrive in a stable home life, surrounded by people you can depend on. Although your child may have worldly ambitions from an early age, your emphasis on family and tradition provides her with a firm foundation. You can be that anchor for your little Capricorn, giving her the emotional support she may not even realize she needs.

From an early age, your Capricorn child is responsible and driven, and she might forget the importance of relaxing or paying attention to her feelings. That's where you, as her parent, come in. You are sensitive to her moods and know just when and how to get through to her. Gently remind your little one to rest and recharge, and soothe her when she overextends herself."

All this horrorscope stuff has made me wanna look for books when I head to the library today. Aside from the zodiac signs, I enjoy numerology and tarot. Hopefully my little podunk library has a book or two on these!! =D I'd love to see what a numerology book says about the names we've picked out for Baby Ohz! =D

Spilling the Beans

Well, it's been a (sorta) big secret for nearly five months now ... but I'M PREGNANT! =D

Jaimie and I decided to keep this pregnancy on the down-low because we were afraid of telling people too soon then losing the baby. Well, after four and a half months, and consistent movement from our little one, I feel a lot better about sharing our news with the world.

Little Baby Ohz (our nickname for him/her) will be due in late December or early January. According to the due date calculator, Baby Ohz's expected due date is January 8, 2009. But who knows if the baby will come sooner or later. =D

I created a baby blog a month ago because it was getting to me that I couldn't chronicle and share the adventures of pregnancy with anyone. Baby Ohz's blog can be found here: http://jknightbaby.blogspot.com. It gets updated fairly regularly, so keep yer eyes open. =D

In Memory of my Angel

It's been almost six months and two weeks since we said good-bye to our little angel. This week has been a mixture of emotions for me. If everything had gone as it should have, I would most likely be holding my baby in my arms this week instead of typing a blog about my loss. But I believe that everything happens for a reason ... whatever it may have been. Losing a baby, even one that wasn't more than two months formed inside me, is a life-changing event. I feel it has made Jaimie and I much closer as a couple, as well as giving me an understanding of what other women go through ... especially those who have faced multiple miscarriages.

For whatever reason I was not meant to have that child, I am very thankful for every day I carried her. Our baby will always be remembered and loved.

"Budded on earth, to bloom in heaven."

I'm so proud of my Boo Bear!!

I got a surprise call from my Dad last night to let me know that my little brother, Richard (aka Boo Bear), is signing up for the Air Force tomorrow with my parents happy consent. Bud (his main nickname) made the decision to go into the Air Force and study to be an airplane/jet mechanic instead of going to Embry-Riddle in Daytona, after a few guys he knew there told him they always go out partying. He wants to stay on the straight and narrow, and he knows it will be much harder to do so when the people around him are pressuring him to do otherwise. So for his decision to be a hard-working, focused student in the AF, I applaud him!!

Dad told me that they took him to the recruitment office, where they gave him a preliminary test (reading and word comprehension, basic math, etc) to see if he would qualify for the AF. The minimum score you can get to pass is a 35 ... my awesome little brother scored a 45!! Woot!! So they got all the paperwork together for my parents to fill out and tomorrow they go back to sign him up for the AF!!

Now, for those of you wondering, my "little" brother turned 17 this past July. Even though he is not 18, my parents are signing their consent for him to join the AF after he graduates from high school this fall/winter. He goes to a private school in Jacksonville, and completed both 9th and 10th grade in a year. So he only needs two more credits when school starts this August! I was proud of him for finishing school early, and I'm even more proud of him for setting a goal for himself and knowing what he wants to study and learn about in the AF.

There have been a few people who have chided him for his decision, but besides his parents, grandmother, and myself, he has other relatives that are very proud of him!! And no matter what anyone thinks, he needs to remember that he's not doing this for them. He's doing it for *himself* because it is what he wants to do! I am SO super proud of my little brother!!!

Also, as an AF mechanic, he will not be on the front lines of any war. If, for any reason, he gets sent to Iraq or Afghanistan, he will be sitting in a hangar working on jets and planes. But he still has a few years of schooling within the AF before he'll be sent on his way as a mechanic. =D I definitely don't want to see anyone, especially my little brother, having to fight in a war ... but again, I applaud my little brother for his dedication and bravery, knowing quite well he could be sent somewhere dangerous. My brother, my hero! <3




**All pictures were taken July 9 & 10, 2007, at Magic Kingdom and Islands of Adventure**

My First (Completed) Crocheting Project!!

At the beginning of June I decided to follow in the footsteps of two women I love dearly -- my mother and my grandmother. For years they have been crocheters and have created beautiful blankets (and I think some pillow covers and little baby sweaters too!). So I went to Wally World and got myself a 3-pack of crocheting hooks and a skein of yarn!

Unfortunately, I decided to start big ... a blanket for Jaimie that would also fit our (queen-sized) bed. Not too terrible, I admit ...but I was using a 5.00mm hook ...which isn't very big. I ended up doing five rows of single crochet, then started (and completed) three rows of double crochet before 'forgetting' about it.

I had borrowed a book from the library, Kids Crochet (because all the 'adult' crochet books were way over my beginning crocheter's head =D) and decided I wanted to make the little tool pouch. Finally, last week, I went back to Wally World and got two skeins of yarn (pink and mint green), as well as a few new crocheting hooks (of larger and varying sizes) and some yarn needles. On Saturday, I got to work!

By Sunday night I had finished a 14 inch by 12 stitch rectangle of beautiful crocheting goodness! And here's what it looked like!

Next, it was time to assemble this long bit of material into a tool pouch. So I took the mint green yarn and a yarn needle and sewed it all up! I sewed on a few pearly buttons and VOILA!! Here is my masterpiece!!!

I am super excited that I made this cute little pouch and now I also have a great place to store all the hooks and needles I bought! =D My next big feat will be to learn how to crochet in the round (circular crochet), so I can make a hat!! I tried it out on Sunday night, but I don't think I did too well! lol Not to mention I need a few stitch markers to help me keep track of where my initial stitch was in the circle!

So look for more fun crocheting projects to come! ...that is if I don't 'forget' about them again!