I have began realizing more and more since I moved to Nebraska with Jaimie that I am slowly, but surely, becoming my mother. Some women may scream and throw a fit at this revelation, but I am very happy with the person I am turning out to be. My mother has always been a great inspiration to me and has loved me from the moment she learned she was pregnant with me, throughout all my bullshit as I grew and learned (and made lots of mistakes), to this very day. I am very thankful for joining my mother and her family on July 9th, 1981 ... there is no other mother I wish I could have.
So my revelations into me turning into my mother began slowly. I first noticed it when I *had* to have another garbage can just for recycle only, just like my mother has in her house. Other things I noticed are my intense feelings about Jaimie or Miah using the counter or table to make sandwiches and leaving crumbs and sandwich-making materials laying out and about. How many times I heard my mother wonder out-loud how hard it would be to lay down a paper towel! lol Also, a few months ago, I picked up the hobby of crocheting, using online videos to teach me how to get started. Both my mother and grandmother have been avid crocheters for quite some time. It must be in our genes or something.
The biggest revelation has come in the form of understanding how my mother felt during my teenage years ...and it has also given me great insight into why her and my father acted the way they did (i.e. that 'overprotectiveness' I always complained about to myself!). By moving to Nebraska with Jaimie, I not only gained a relationship with him, but with his son, Miah, as well. I became a step-mother to a teenager.
There are so many similarities I see between myself at Miah's age and Miah himself. He's smart, funny, talented ...but also very naive. His father and I try to explain things to him, but he's at that age where he thinks he knows everything ...when he truly doesn't. He knows for a fact he is in love with his girlfriend ...and no matter how many times we tell him that he's still in that 'learning' phase when it comes to relationships, he won't have it.
And, oh, the teenage drama we get to witness. There have been a few occasions (most recent one was yesterday), where he has come home late and given no notice to anyone. Jaimie was so worried we went out combing the neighborhoods after calling some of his friends. It made me realize that all those times my parents were angry and upset with me was not because they wanted to ruin my life, but because they were deathly afraid that something had happened to me. I understand now how wonderful a call can be. All those times they stressed to me to call them if I was going to be late or my plans had changed ... I understand now.
So for all the bullshit that my mom (and dad too!) had to put up with during my teenage years (and probably beyond that too lol!) ...I thank them immensely. They loved me enough to worry and care and reprimand when it was needed. They tried to get it across to me ...I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it. I guess until you are in your parents' shoes it all just seems like your parents were being over-dramatic about it all. I definitely didn't expect to be the mother of a teenager so soon ... but I'm glad I've gotten to because it's made me understand and love my parents even more for all they have done and still do for me to this day.
I love you, Mom and Dad! <3