Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Balance in the Dream World

Yesterday morning was a pretty crappy morning, dream-wise. I had a dream that I was giving Baby Ohz a bath in the tub, but whenever I would try to pick her up, my hand would slip from behind her head/neck and she'd fall under the water. I kept thinking, "Oh my gods, she's going to drown if I can't get her out!" After about three or four times of trying to pick her up and her falling back in, I got her out and wrapped her in a towel.

Jaimie thinks this dream stemmed from the day before when we were in Target registering for baby stuff. I saw a cute little baby bath tub and Jaimie said, "Why do we need that? We can just bathe the baby in the sink. My mom did that with me." Well, so did my mom ...but that doesn't mean *I* want to ...at least not when the baby is that tiny. All I thought of in that moment tho was how yucky our sink can get. lol Nothing about keeping hold of the baby. Anyway, I think my subconscious took hold of this 'bath time' moment and stored it for nightmare use! ><

In going to dream dictionaries, I tried to get a little insight into the 'drowning' dream. It could be in one part a fear that I won't be a good mother, etc., but I know that the human mind likes to use symbolism in dreams. So, I found two good analyses of my dream.

1. To see someone drowning in your dream, suggests that you are becoming too deeply involved in something that is beyond your control. Alternatively, it represents a sense of loss in your own identity. You are unable to differentiate who you are anymore. To dream that you rescue someone from drowning, indicates that you have successfully acknowledged certain emotions and characteristics that is symbolized by the drowning victim.

I've read that many mothers can feel they've lost their identities after the baby is born because everyone and everything becomes focused on baby, especially themselves. So, maybe an underlying meaning to my dream was a fear of losing who I am. I, of course, consciously haven't felt this way about the pregnancy or the baby ...but who knows what my inner mind is doing! lol

2. Overwhelming circumstances in real life, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, or something feeling out of control—or a fear of such things.

Aside from the whole, ya know ...being pregnant thing, other aspects of my life seem to want to stress me out and at times make me feel like there's nothing I can do to overcome them. So I thought this explanation of a drowning dream was a good one ...although I think this one is specifically geared more towards yourself drowning.

Now, on the flip side of my little baby dream drama ...I had a **wonderful dream** last night/this morning. I believe it started off with me at my appointment with my new OB next week. I was walking down the hall to go to be weighed, measured, whatever ...and I made a comment on what I heard my nurse and someone else saying. I jokingly said, "Hey, you don't want me to pop this baby out right here." The nurse didn't seem amused by this because she said, "No, we don't want that to happen. The baby's still too small."

Next thing I remember is sitting up in a hospital bed. I looked down and cradled in my right arm was my baby ...all wrapped up in a blanket with a little cap on. This baby was seriously the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and I *knew* it was mine. Jaimie was standing next to the bed with me and I was waiting for him to tell me what it was ...a boy or a girl. I knew that he wanted to be the one to tell me ...that this was something very important to him. Jaimie looked at me and said, "It's a boy." I beamed and looked down at our son and said, "Hi, my beautiful Jaiden." I remember touching his cheek with the back of my fingers and thinking my skin must feel so rough compared to his soft skin.

And that is all I remember of that dream. But definitely a nice turn-around from the previous morning's dream of bath time issues!! So, including these dreams, I've had two in which our baby was a girl (in the drowning dream, I knew it was a baby girl) and one in which our baby was a boy. I wonder which of my dreams is right about the baby's gender! =D

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