I am thankful for ... (2009 Recap)

** my wonderful husband, Jaimie **

** my beautiful son, Jaiden **

** my funny step-son, Miah **

** my wonderful family **

** a car that runs **

** snow **

** my fantastic neighbors **

** Elmo, for putting a smile on my son's face **

** filtered water **

** my local library **

** popcorn made on the stove **

** playdates **

** the thrift store **

** holding hands **

** sleepy-time music **

** hot baths **

** the dollar menu **

** snuggling on the couch (heck, snuggling anywhere!) **

** socks to keep my toesies warm **

** cheese-ball smiles **

** laughter **

** naptime **

** alone time **

** friends all over the country **

** homemade mashed potatoes **

** distractions **

** my rock **

** sleep **

** hard working Americans **

** love **

What's a Blog?

So I've totally blown off my blog ... and I feel bad 'cause I love my blog!! I just get so wrapped up in a million other things -- Baby Ohz, Facebook, WoW, crocheting, spending time with Jaimie, going for walks, etc -- that there's no time for blogging!

My little man is just getting bigger and smarter every day! He is an utter joy to be around ... yes, even in his "bad" moments when he's not feeling good or just pissed in general. But those moments are so few and far between.


Jaiden can do so many things now, it's hard to imagine that only nine months ago he was just a tiny little human that only cried, pooped, and slept! He's crawling *everywhere* and, I swear, he can find everything he's not supposed to play with. As Jaimie says, "Pour a whole bunch of toys and candy on the floor, and the kid will go straight for the razor blade in the middle." Baby-proofing is no joking matter! Mostly, I just make sure his play areas are free of things he shouldn't touch so I'm not saying "No!" every five seconds! =D And Jaiden is able to explore (and oh! does he love to explore!) and play without worry that he'll get hurt or stick something in his mouth that he shouldn't!

Jaiden goes for his nine month well visit this month. I'm excited to see how he's growing and to show him off to our wonderful nurse who absolutely adores him! =D I'm such a mom ... I love taking Jaiden with me wherever I go to "show him off". He is my pride and joy!! =D

As for me, I'm trying to walk more, especially with the weather getting *much* nicer. Granted, today it had to go and rain and now the cats are meowing at me incessantly and it's driving me nuts. I have fun strapping Jaiden in his carrier and walking around the neighborhood or down to the store. Yesterday, I put him in his carriage and we went to Goodwill to find a Halloween costume. We had some luck and I found an adorable costume for him. =D I have yet to dress him up in it entirely, but I'll probably do it sometime today and take a couple pictures. I thought about playing a guessing game on Facebook to see if anyone can figure out what he's gonna be. =D I know, I'm mean! =D

Anyway, there's a baby who needs a boobie banshee-screeching at my side. So, until next time...

It's My Problem

I've recently realized that I'm the one with the problem when it comes to transitioning Jaiden to formula. I know he'd take formula and a bottle perfectly fine, but I just can't let go of breastfeeding. Even in those moments when his little teeth chomp down on me and I say to myself, "That's it! He's done!" ... I still find myself not wanting to give it up.

Last month I told myself that by my birthday I would have him weaned from the boobie. Now, nearing the end of July, two weeks *after* my birthday, he is still a boobie baby. LOL. So much for that plan.

When we took Jaiden for his 6 month appointment, I told the doctor that he was getting about 4-8 ounces of formula a day. I explained that I wanted to switch him, but that *I* was having difficulties with breaking the "habit." She said that if I don't want to, don't. She fully supports me breastfeeding as long as I want, so that was nice to hear. =D

My biggest worry is that I'm not producing enough. I see my friend giving her baby an 8+ ounce bottle of formula very frequently, and I worry that Jaiden's not getting enough from me (I still only produce about 4-5 ounces total). But he seems satisfied ... so I don't know. I guess we'll just have to see how he keeps doing. His weight was low at his appointment (well, not *low*, but in the 45th percentile), which the nurse said could be because he started solid foods.

Overall, I *don't* want to give up that special bond that I feel I have with Jaiden when I'm breastfeeding. It's something only I can do for him and I want to hold on to that as long as he'll let me!

Losing Weight

After I had Jaiden, I lost pretty much all the weight I had gained during the pregnancy. But afterwards, I seemed to have lost sight of how to eat well. Finally, after six months of more weight gain instead of loss, I opted to go to Babyfit's site and follow their meal plan for breastfeeding (and pregnant) women. Their main site is Sparkpeople.com, but since I'm breastfeeding, they sent me to their sister site (Babyfit).

So far, I've been doing good! [This is only day 4, so it's not like I've been at this for long.] I swear, I feel like I'm eating just as much as I was before ... but I know I'm eating a lot better food instead of snacking on stuff that's not that nutritious. I'm totally looking forward to lunch today (Salmon sammich with lettuce and tomato, a pear, and some cottage cheese!), and so far there's not much on the menu I dislike ... with the exception of grapefruit, V8, and OJ (bleh!!). I've also discovered a few things I wasn't sure I'd like ... for example, hummus. That's some good stuff!! Especially the garlic hummus! Mmmmmm!!

Even if I'm not rapidly losing weight, I feel better about eating right. It's not just for me either ... I want to show Jaiden how to eat well, even if he's too young to understand that right now. I can do this!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my birthday and I had a fantastic day! Jaimie got Miah and I the internet back for our birthdays (Miah's b'day is today ... so Happy Birthday Miah!!). It's great to finally be able to hop on the computer and email pictures to my mom or look up an address on Google maps or read articles about baby stuff. I missed it!!

I had Jaimie take a picture of Jaiden and I that morning. We "matched"! ^.^ Not only was it my birthday, but it was Jaiden's six month birthday too!


The rest of the day was relaxing and fun. Jaimie did one of the sweetest things ... albeit, in other peoples' eyes this might be considered "dorky." He went on World of Warcraft and asked in the trade channel if people would mind sending my character some "Happy Birthday" greetings thru the in-game mail system. When I logged on, my mailbox had three pages worth of cards and presents. =D Here's a few that were sent:

So, we may be dorky, but it totally made my day! I knew how cool it was to get mail from nice strangers, so this morning I went on and asked that people do the same for Miah. So we'll see how that turns out! =D

The only small downer to the day was the realization that I didn't get a card from my grandmother. It's still strange to think that she is no longer with us ... sometimes on Wednesdays when I call up my Mom, I expect her to be over at Gma's house after taking her out shopping. I really miss her a lot, and yesterday even more so.

It's good to be back in the world of the internet. Until next time ... and thank heavens that doesn't mean a few months from now!

Updates Updates

It really stinks not having the internet in my home. It's really hard to get out of the house for long periods of time with Jaiden ... he usually ends up getting fussy when I come to the library with him and I never get anything done. I hope we can get our internet back soon, but I really doubt it.

Jaimie, Jaiden, and I have been sick ... again. It completely stinks!! Poor little J-bird is on more meds. This time Dr. Pease gave him a steroid to knock all the gook out of his lungs ... but it makes him pretty fussy and angry. I can't wait till he's done with it (which will be by Friday). Otherwise it's really helping ... his cough doesn't sound as yucky and he doesn't cough as much.

Last weekend was our March of Dimes walk. But with us being sick -- not to mention the day-long thunderstorms -- we didn't go. I was really looking forward to it too. But I want *all* of us to start feeling better before we undertake anything big.

Which brings me to our trip to Florida. In May we're heading to Jax to visit family and friends and introduce Jaiden and Miah to the family. I'm *SO* super excited about it! I got an Infantino baby carrier and a Moby Wrap from two wonderful ladies on Freecycle, so I can't wait to use them on our little vacation.

Anyway, I need to finish uploading some pictures to Photobucket! Hopefully it won't be another long time before I get to post again ... I so miss blogging. ; ;

Goodbye BSG

Last night Jaimie and I watched the series finale of Battlestar Galactica. It was a bittersweet moment because since we started watching this show last year, it's been our "Friday Date Night" show.

We were hoping and praying that the finale would tie up everything with a nice little bow, and we were not disappointed. There were things done by certain characters that really made Jaimie cheer ... the writer in him hates that the majority of stories nowadays contain too much "mercy". Obviously not everyone is like that, so when characters in stories act against the 'norm' of most shows and books, it really makes him smile. =D

As the show ended, Jaimie and I held hands as tears of joy and sorrow welled in our eyes. We've watched some video blogs that one of the executive producers made, and the cast and crew of BSG cried as well. Over the past five years, they had become a family, and they had let so many people into it. BSG will be greatly missed, but I am so thankful for the wonderful story we got to be a part of!

ToD Thursday?!

Okay, so I know that this usually goes on Tuesdays ... but I had to make an exception today.

Truth: I am jealous of my step-son's best friend.

Just some quick background ... when I was four or five months pregnant, our son told us that his best friend found out she was pregnant. I was incensed at the time because 1. I found out she had smoked pot after finding out, and 2. she did not know who the father was because she slept with two different guys during a time when she'd had a falling out with her then-boyfriend. Pregnancy hormones probably increased my anger, but I eventually simmered down and was okay with it.

In the past week or so, she's come over a few times. I found myself horribly jealous that she was pregnant and I was not. I won't deny that I completely miss being pregnant. It was so wonderful, even with all the aches and pains and worries associated with it.

One thing I've found myself thinking is that she's got it a lot easier than most moms. I know this isn't completely true ... but when I think about how I have to not only take care of Jaiden, but the rest of my family, I know she won't have to do the same. She has her mom and dad to take care of her still while she learns to care for her daughter. She doesn't have to worry about the house getting messy and doing dishes and making dinner. But, on the other hand, she's had to deal with the stigma of being a teenage mother, and she'll have to figure out how to do that and finish her schooling. So, I give her a lot of credit for that.

This morning, Jaimie came in and told me that she had called saying she had her baby and Miah was going to be heading up to the hospital to visit. Again, I found myself feeling tinges of jealousy ... no one came to visit us in the hospital when Jaiden was born. Granted, I did enjoy just spending time with just Jaimie and our new little guy ... but it still would have been nice to know we had people busting our door down to see us at the hospital.

So, Miah came home and I quizzed him on his visit. And, yet again, I feel so jealous of his friend. She went into the hospital at midnight ... had 6 hours of labor and pushed her baby out in 10 minutes. Really?! Son of a ... I attribute some of the 'ease' of her labor to the fact she pushed out a 6 lb baby and Jaiden was over 9 lbs ... not to mention he had quite the pumpkinhead. *And* she went into labor before she was due ... I had to force Jaiden out. Ugh ... I hate feeling so jealous of other people ... it's such a nasty way to feel!! But, to my credit, yesterday ended on a pretty crappy note, so I've already been rather emotional.

Now ... my dare ...

Dare: Remember that every one is different and has different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. There is no step-by-step pattern. And, also, keep in mind that pregnancy will come again for me and I'll get to revel in all those aches and pains again.

March for Babies

While reading one of my favorite blogs, I came across a post about the March of Dimes. I have always desired to help people in need, but now that I have my own child, this organization seems to mean something more. Even though it focuses mostly on premature babies, I feel a deep urge to help others who have not been as fortunate as I have. I am so lucky to have a healthy baby boy and there are so many people out there who struggle every day hoping that their little ones will make it to tomorrow.

So, Jaimie and I created a family team on the March of Dimes' site called "J Team Go!" (If you wonder how we came up with the team name, just think of all our names!) The walk is on April 26th at the Mahoney State Park and we're really looking forward to taking Jaiden in his stroller and walking for all the babies who need our help!

If you can, please sponsor our team and donate to this wonderful organization by clicking on the banner at the top of my blog. I wish I had been more active with it before, but it's better late than never!

Jaiden Sings!

Making his musical debut ... Jaiden Thomas! =D



The inspiration for this video came yesterday after I videoed Jaiden sticking his tongue out, which can be found here. I showed Jaimie the video after he had been playing some of his music and he asked me to queue up the video while he started 'Six' by All That Remains. The result was the video above, which I created this morning using Windows Movie Maker. =D

We all get the biggest kick out of it, Jaimie especially. =D I'm glad some video editing could make him laugh!

My New "Obsession"

A couple weeks ago, I caught a couple episodes of America's Best Dance Crew Season 3. I've always been impressed with dancers, so this show really caught my interest. But I kinda forgot about it until this past Friday night when they were running a marathon of it on MTV. These groups of dancers are so talented and athletic ... and I *love* watching them!

The show's finale is this Thursday night and I can't wait to watch it! The last two crews are both amazing and it's going to be such a hard decision. I'm so torn between Beat Freaks and Quest Crew!! Like I said, they're both amazingly talented groups ... but lately I've been leaning a little toward Quest Crew. They're not only athletic and well-coordinated, but they're entertaining too. They always seem to create characters while they're dancing, and they always make me laugh, as well as WOW me! =D

In the final week before the finale, the remaining crews were challenged to the "Hip-Hop Decathlon". They had to incorporate four very tough hip-hop styles into their routines: tutting, threading, waving, and krumping. I couldn't find a video for the Beat Freaks' routine, but here's Quest Crew's! They completely rock!



All the episodes can be found at America's Best Dance Crew on MTV's website. I've been voting for both teams until I can decide who I like better! LOL And come Thursday night, we'll find out who wins ... Beat Freaks or Quest Crew!!

Luna the Advertising Dog

It seems Luna has decided to pick up a side job as a billboard. I came up from the laundry room last night to find Luna laying on the kitchen floor advertising for Jimmy John's. Take a look:


I know money's been tight ... but when your dog starts advertising to earn extra money, you really have to wonder ...

Wordless Wednesdays

If I'd Only Read This First

I found this great "guide" for getting yourself ready for breastfeeding while visiting Baby Talk's website. It's called "Suck it! The REAL Way to Prep for Breastfeeding" by Melissa Balmain. I had to share because some of them had me laughing so hard that I feared waking up Jaiden. =D

Day 1

Gently rub your nipples with sandpaper.

Day 2

At bedtime set your alarm clock to go off every two hours. Each time it rings, spend 20 minutes sitting in a rocking chair with your nipples clamped by a pair of chip clips.

Day 3

Draw branching lines all over your chest with a blue-green marker, then stand in front of your bathroom mirror and sing "I Feel Pretty."

Day 4

Open your already-crowded freezer and make room for five dozen plastic milk bags.

Day 5

Fit the hose of a vacuum cleaner over one breast and set on "medium pile." Turn off vacuum when nipple is three inches long. Switch breasts.

Day 6

Obtain "DO NOT CROSS" tape from your local police station, then wrap firmly around your chest. When your spouse asks about it, say, "Get used to it."

Day 7

Tape a water balloon to each breast and squeeze into a maternity bra. Repeatedly hook and unhook the nursing flaps with one hand while using the other to balance a sack of squirming puppies.

Day 8

Dine in the fanciest, snootiest restaurant you can afford, making sure to arrive with a big wet spot directly over each nipple.

Day 9

Record your mother proclaiming, "Just give the baby some cereal like God intended, and she'll sleep right through the night." Play in an endless loop at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5 a.m.

Day 10

Slather your breasts with peanut butter, top with birdseed and stand very still in your backyard.

Day 11

Go someplace public - a museum, a courthouse, the steps of your office building - and stuff a lifelike baby doll under your shirt. Use the doll's arm to suddenly hike the shirt up past your collar bone. Lower shirt. Feign nonchalant smile.

Day 12

Suckle a wolverine.


Congratulations! You are now ready to nurse a baby. Maybe.

2-2-2, GO!

Despite the legal system, Jaimie and I have always considered ourselves married. Being married is more than just signatures on a legal document ... it is something emotional and spiritual. That is what we have always had ... that deep connection between us.

Jaimie has been waiting for the right time to "officially" ask for my hand in marriage. One step was for both of us to have all our other legal ties cut. But last night, he realized that he was tired of waiting.

So, on 2/22, Jaimie got down on bended knee (in his bathrobe just after I finished feeding our son) and asked me to marry him. Tears welling in my eyes, I embraced him and said "Yes!, oh Gods Yes!"

It is now "official" ... Jaimie and I are engaged to be married ... but, again, despite all the legalities ... we already are husband and wife.

So Proud of My Love

I had my 6 week post-partum check-up yesterday ... but details on that in a moment.

The first thing Dr. Gina did when she came into the room was address Jaimie about the note he left for the nurses during our hospital stay with Jaiden. A little while after leaving me a special note, Jaimie went back out and wrote "Thank You Nurses" in the snow. They apparently got such a big kick out of it that they took a picture of it and now have copies of it hanging up on the Labor and Delivery floor. Dr. Gina was impressed by Jaimie's creativity and skill of snow writing ... she said she'd never seen anything like that before and loved its originality. I can't tell you how proud this made me!! *MY* Jaimie did that! Just one simple act from him made so many people happy! =D Do you see why I freakin' love this man?! =D

LOL ... I'm still gushing about it. I totally want to take a trip over to the hospital and visit the L&D floor to check out the picture! I never got to see his note to them, but he told me all about it. That, and when I go to visit, I can bring Jaiden and *totally* show him off!! =D They were all such great nurses and I would love for them to see the child they helped me care for in those first couple days.

As for my 6 week check-up, everything is cleared for normal activities! =D Dr. Gina said things looked great ... so Jaimie and I are excited to get back to normal. We did tell Dr. Gina that we 'cheated' on V-day ... but she said as long as I was feeling okay, she wasn't worried about it. =D She was surprised I even let him in the room near me! lol Thankfully, my desires and passion for Jaimie have not changed ... we just need to work on timing things when Jaiden's taking a looooong nap. =D

I also got a prescription for the 'mini-pill'. I had asked Dr. Gina about getting on a birth control that wouldn't affect my breastfeeding because I read that the estrogen in most birth controls can decrease your supply. And since my supply seems very small already, I didn't want to mess it up! =D The mini-pill is just the hormone progesterone, and because of that I have to be even more diligent about taking it at the *same time* every day ... or else the chance for effectiveness drops from the 90th percentile to the 70th ...or something like that. Jaimie was funny tho ... when the nurse asked if we were ready for another, he said, "Well, babies are like bombs ... you gotta drop 'em in clusters." Meaning just have a whole bunch around the same time. >.> So I don't think he's worried about having another one so soon, but I at least want to wait till the end of the year and let my brain forget some of the newborn stuff, like waking up every couple hours in the middle of the night!! =D

Anyway, I'm going to go finish feeding J, then upload the pictures and video I took over the past couple days. I *finally* got my picture of Jaiden and Dr. Gina! Yay!! So I'll post that over on J's blog, as well as some bathtime pictures! =D He's just too stinkin' cute and I can't stop taking pictures!!!!!

My Other Baby

Poor Luna has been so good for us since we brought Jaiden home. I hope she's not feeling neglected ... and I do try to snuggle her and 'include' her as much as possible. I haven't taken nearly as many pictures of my first 'baby' as I used to, so here's a super cute video I took of her when we got a lot of snow on Friday.



I totally love this dog! lol She's such a ham. =D

Truth or Dare Tuesdays

So I've decided that when I do 'T&D', it will be on Tuesdays. Similarly, my blogger and BBC buddy Monty has 'Wordless Wednesdays', which I may do as well. Who better to copy than a great woman like Monty?! So here's 'T&D' for this week.

Truth: I miss being pregnant.

It was definitely a whole lot easier taking care of Ohz when he was inside me! I love having him here with me, but I miss feeling his kicks and hiccups from the inside. Not to mention, the volume level decreases significantly when he was in my tummy!! lol I find myself dreaming of being pregnant again ... having the cute belly, an excuse for excessive eating, and people catering to my every need (although Jaimie does that regardless of me being preggo or not). Although, all it takes is one crying fit from Ohz, and I'm ready to wait 10 years before getting pregnant again!

Dare: Enjoy the time I have one-on-one with Jaiden.

And remember that I will get to do the pregnancy thing again. I still want my Jiana! =D

One Month

That's how long I've been a Mommy. On one hand, it feels like he was only born yesterday ... but on the other, it feels like I've been at this f-o-r-e-v-e-r ...but that's the exhaustion talking! LOL

Ohz and I have started to find a schedule tho. He's very alert now during the day after he's eaten and usually takes catnaps during this time. He starts to get a little extra fussy around 5 or 6 pm, then takes a long nap of about 4 or 5 hours by 8 or 9 pm.

Jaimie and I finally got a genuine smile out of him late last week. It takes a bit of coaxing -- what I call the 'squidgy' voice (that high pitched, silly baby voice parents do) plus some funny facial expressions. He's got the cutest, freakin' smile ever ... but we're super biased! I'm hoping to get a picture or video of it soon. =D

I'll be taking some one month pictures later today, so keep an eye out on J's blog for updates! Seriously ... you can't pass up the CBE (cutest baby ever!). =D

Truth or Dare

In the wee hours of the morning, while trying to fall back asleep but worrying that the baby would wake up again at any second, I came up with this idea for a post. It's a few 'truths' I've come to learn about being a new mom and having an infant to care for ... as well as some 'dares' or goals for myself.

Truth: I love my son more than words could ever say.

I thought I'd start out with this one, because I know I'll probably get a little flack for some of my other truths. So I want everyone to know right now ... I LOVE MY SON! I appreciate every moment I have with him, and though I didn't go through nearly as much pain and suffering as some have to bring a child into this world, there is not a moment that I am not thankful to be a mother.

Dare: Love him, and myself, thru our rough spots.

You'll get an idea of our 'rough spots' from my other truths!

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Truth: I nearly gave up on breastfeeding.

Let's get this one straight ... breastfeeding is no walk in the park. My second week of doing it, my nipples HURT like a mo-fo. Whenever he'd latch on, the pain was so intense my toes would curl, I'd gasp for breath, and have to breath thru like it was a contraction. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't want to switch him to formula ... so I was pumping like crazy so he could still have my awesome breastmilk. But I completely did not want him on my boob!

Also, the time it would take to breastfeed, combined with his lazy attitude about eating, made me feel very secluded from the rest of the family. For 30 to 40 minutes I am locked in the bedroom ... only to finish and find he'd wake up and be hungry because he never really ate right.

Dare: Learn to be a better breastfeeder.

This includes being patient while he's suckling away ... finding ways of keeping him awake so he gets full and content ... and learning to breastfeed in 'public', i.e. at my desk, in the living room, etc. so I can still be around the rest of the family but not have my boobies hanging out all over the place. Having him close, knowing that I'm providing him with the best food possible, and spending that special time with him is what needs to really motivate me to continue as long as I can.

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Truth: The rewards are few.

Yes, having him in my life is reward enough ... but I've discovered that apart from sleeping, crying, eating, and pooping, there's not much else Jaiden does. The rewards of having him look into my eyes and smile, mimic my facial expressions, or write a concerto have not yet shown themselves. I know they will come, but it's pretty hard in the meantime while we wait for them. In my moments of 'weakness', one little smile from him would definitely melt my heart and make me forget everything.

Dare: Remind myself of what's to come.

When I am upset, frustrated, and/or angry, I just have to remember that he will keep growing and reaching his milestones in time. Again, I just need to be patient and remember that our little miracle will get there when he's ready. And that first REAL smile will be even more special!

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Truth: I second guess myself constantly.

Did I do my son an injustice by giving him a pacifier too early? Is he crying at the top of his lungs because I've fed him too much and his tummy hurts? Will he be able to breastfeed right if I give him too many bottles? Am I depleting my milk supply by pumping all the time and not letting him breastfeed? Oh my god ... the questions are endless.

Dare: Remind myself I am doing the best job I can.

For someone who hasn't had much on the job Mom training, I have to remember that I am doing the best I can in the moment. If it works at the time, then I must be doing something right ... right??

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Truth: Babies have 'snuggle' radar.

It never fails ... I finish feeding Jaiden, put him in his bassinet, then Jaimie and I curl up next to each other in bed and snuggle ... and Jaiden cries. No shit ... it happens every time. It's like he knows there's snugglin' time going on and he wants in on it.

Dare: Find ways to have moments alone with Jaimie.

I cannot deny how much I miss that special alone time Jaimie and I had. But I knew that having a baby would change everything ... I just have to make it a 'mission' to continue showing and telling Jaimie how much he means to me and finding those moments when we can have time to ourselves.

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Truth: I'm very cranky on only two hours of sleep.

After feeding a fussy baby for 45 minutes only to be woken up two hours later because he's hungry again is not conducive for a happy Mommy. The night-time is hard ... because I'm tired ...and when I'm tired, I get cranky. And that leads to being less loving. I'm sorry, but it's true. Now, don't misunderstand ... being less loving does not mean I would cause pain ... it just means I'm less attached in that moment of frustration and exhaustion. I would much rather be curled up next to Jaimie fast asleep, than trying to lull a crying baby while keeping my eyes open.

Dare: Get better at sleeping when the baby is sleeping.

I confess ... I hate not spending time with Jaimie, so sometimes I push myself to stay up with him instead of taking a cat-nap on the couch while the baby's asleep. It's hard to explain ... but when I'm not with Jaimie, something just doesn't feel 'right' ... even when we're in the house together but in separate rooms. And since Jaiden's come along ... I find myself being separated more and more from Jaimie. I just have to remember that this won't last forever ... and Jaimie and I will eventually get our 'schedules' back in order.

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Mm-kay ... I'm a little 'truth'-ed out for the moment. But I think I will start a weekly 'Truth or Dare' post ... that sounds like a good dare to me. =D

My New Friend

It's only been a week and four days since I gave birth to Jaiden and started breastfeeding him, but, Oh My God, I'm really sore! ^.^;; I know it's because they're not used to this kind of treatment, but, as of today, they get a bit of a break. I got my breast pump! Woot!

The lactation consultant, Megan, who visited with me in the hospital, gave me a prescription for a hospital grade pump that I get to rent for a year. If I use it that long, great! If not, I can return it when Jaiden and I are ready to stop breastfeeding. But I can already see it's going to get a lot of use and it will definitely come in handy! I've already used it twice and (although it's a very strange thing to see) I love using it! My boobies are very thankful.

One of the best benefits of me pumping is this:

Jaimie finally got to feed his son! Yay!! It will definitely help when it comes to those middle of the night feedings. That is where I have a lot of trouble (not wanting to wake up at 3 am and all), aside from the soreness. I just need to get up a good surplus of milk!

By pumping, I've realized a reason why Jaiden can sometimes get cranky after he's fed for nearly 30 minutes. I haven't been able to get an entire ounce out of my right side ... but my left gets nearly three ounces. So Jaiden might not be fulfilled if he's not getting that much from one side. The breast pump has helped me see this! =D

Oh, and in some weird moment of feeling a great amount of accomplishment, I took a picture of the bottle of expressed milk. Boobie team, GO!

So This is Love

I (finally) changed my music player ... sorry to those of you still listening to my Christmas music half-way thru January! LOL

For those of you who have known me for a long time, you know of my past experiences with 'love'. You also know about Jaimie and myself ... and, again, for any of you left doubting the intensity of our love and the sheer happiness I feel when I am with him, take a gander at this:


On our second day in the hospital, Jaimie came back upstairs from a smoke-break and led me to the window in our room. Outside, in the snow, was this wonderful message from the most amazing man I have ever known. He stood out there in the freezing cold, shuffling his feet in the snow, just to tell me he loved me.

Jealous? lol If I were still where I was 2 years ago, my answer would be yes. Certain parties never would have done something like this for me.

I love my life with Jaimie, that's for damn sure.

The Journey Begins...

...well, truthfully it started Friday when Jaiden was born!! LOL But I've been so busy with him and the rest of the family that I'm just finally getting a chance to post now!

It is so hard to put into words how amazing his entrance into the world was. I still look at him and think, "This is *my* baby ...that *I* pushed out. No one's coming to pick him up at the end of the day ... he's MINE! OMG ... *I* am his mother." =D Totally surreal!

I won't lie and say the whole thing has been easy. A lot of the times he cries, I cry. I know it's hormones and whatnot, but that part of it stinks. If I didn't have Jaimie here helping me (and OMG, he is the greatest Daddy ever!!), I think I would have freaked out or screamed or something.

Jaiden also finally took his longest nap ever last night (aside from his "baby comas" in the hospital after he was born and after he got his peepee snipped). He slept for 7 hours straight ... between 9 pm and 4 am! Now if we can shift that a little ... to something like 11 to 6, it'd be perfect!! LOL I got a nice long nap in too while Jaimie kept an eye on him during his super nap. And when Jaiden woke up ... he had a nice big surprise for us ... a SUPER POOP! lol He'd been storing it, I think ... 'cause it was an explosion. =D

Right now, the little man is sleeping soundly in my lap while I catch up on blogs and forums and emails. He just got done having breakfast, so he's out for the count for a couple hours, at least. Hopefully that'll be enough time to get stuff done!!

I'll be posting the birth story right after I get done with this post. I will post-date it for the 9th, when Jaiden was born. So look for it after this one!! =D

And lastly, I shall leave you with a picture of the cutest baby EVER!! =D My little Jai-bird!

Jaiden's Birth Story

A cab arrived for Jaimie and I at about 7:15 pm on Thursday, January 8^th. After saying our goodbyes to the boys and Luna, we headed to Alegent Health Midlands Hospital and arrived around 7:45 pm. As I started doing paperwork, our nurse, Connie, put in an IV for later use.

Connie checked my cervix at about 8:40 pm. I was still only 1.5-2 cm dilated, but I was 60% effaced! The baby was still high, but the cervix was feeling soft. Five minutes later, Connie came back in with the “blue pill” …actually, it’s not blue, but that’s a Matrix reference because by taking it I was opening up a whole new world to myself. =D The pill was Cytotek to help soften my cervix more.

By 9:30 pm, my contractions were about 4 minutes apart and lasted for a minute. At this point they only felt like mild period cramps … nothing I hadn’t felt before! At 10:15 pm, the contractions were about 3 minutes apart and still felt the same pain-wise.

Nurse Connie brought me a sleeping pill just before midnight so I could get some rest. She came in a little after 1 am to check my cervix and I was 2 cm dilated and she pronounced I’d entered ‘active labor’. My Group B Strep antibiotics were started and Connie predicted I would have Jaiden by 2:30/3:00 in the afternoon! My antibiotics were recalibrated about 15 minutes later because it *really* hurt my arm and hand. That’s something they don’t necessarily mention …Group B Strep antibiotics hurt!

Just after 2 am, I got another Cytotek pill. When I went to the bathroom, I noticed a light bloody discharge, so things were definitely progressing! Two hours later I was still only 2-3 cm dilated, but at 5:45 am when I went potty again, the bleeding was a bit heavier.

I got to eat breakfast around 7:45 am. My sleep was not very solid since they kept waking me up to poke and prod at me … but I was too excited anyway! At 8 am the day-shift nurse, Sue, started me on what Jaimie likes to call “Go Juice!” aka Pitocin. I was 3 cm dilated when they started Pitocin in my IV. Not even half an hour later my contractions were MUCH stronger. Dr. Gina came by an hour later to check on me, and while she was there she broke my water. Talk about getting wet! Whoo!

Because the contractions were getting a lot stronger and I was moving around more trying to find a good “spot” to deal with the pain, my belt that monitored the baby’s heartbeat kept losing it. So at about 10:15, Nurse Sue put a scalp electrode monitor on the baby’s head. His heartbeat was still very strong! =D

By this time the contractions were super painful. The best way I can describe the pain was that it was very intense and sharp. I opted to get the epidural and we started prepping for that with a bag of fluids at 10:35 am. By 11:30, Dr. Rhogan came in and had my epidural in and set! Wow …it *immediately* took the edge off the contractions. That sharpness became dull …then all the pain was gone! My legs eventually became ‘dead’ and I could really only move my feet. I had no control over my left leg and very little over my right … but I couldn’t feel any pain, so I took a well-needed nap after 12:30 pm!

Nurse Sue came in after 1 pm and checked my cervix (5 cm!) and put in a catheter. At 2:30 she returned and I was 7 cm, and when she checked on me again at 3:30 pm I was 10 cm and ready to push! However, we didn’t start the pushing till 5:45 pm. It took quite a while to get his head down, but they could eventually see the top of his head. For every set of pushes, I could get Jaiden out just a little bit, but when I stopped his head would scoot back to where it was. I could feel when my contractions were coming … there was this feeling of pressure on my bottom, but not one drop of pain. Nurse Sue had me try a few different techniques for pushing. Finally, when Dr. Gina came in, they set me up with an oxygen mask and had me do sets of 4 pushes instead of 3 like I had been doing. That 4^th push is what helped a lot.

After an hour and a half of pushing, Jaiden finally made his way into the world. Dr. Gina had made a small cut to help get his big pumpkin head out, but again, I didn’t feel any pain at all … even when I pushed his head, then shoulders and body out. Dr. Rhogan’s epidural rocked!!

Dr. Gina cleaned him up some and he started crying. I can’t tell you how wonderful that moment was. That was my baby she was holding … a baby I just pushed out of me … that I had carried for 9 months! OMG! =D

She clamped off the umbilical cord and handed the scissors to Jaimie. The proud papa freed his son and they set him on my chest while Dr. Gina finished working on me. Everything else went smoothly … no complications whatsoever, and we are very thankful for that!

I would most like to thank Jaimie for all his love and support throughout the entire pregnancy and the labor (and now thru parenthood!). He may say he didn’t do anything, but I am here to tell you that I could not have done it without him. He is my rock and I love him with all my heart!!

So now, the journey really begins. I’m ready for the ride … how ‘bout you?